Rethinking

I suppose I sort of have a reputation of thinking. This is funny because that really doesn't mean much besides getting really distracted when spotting for someone bench pressing while thinking about the purpose of working out. Thinking is a dangerous business.
Just because I think I feel like I form differing opinions than most people I know. It was thinkers that started revolutions.
Now just because I think doesn't mean I'm wise. I waste time thinking over acting and can get pretty honestly depressed if I let myself think about some things too much. I do a lot of dwelling. Wisdom is applied understanding.

I have been rethinking a lot lately and it's sort of scary. I have been pretty set on my major for a while and I'm really starting to think about changing it. I need to apply to Texas A&M soon as possible but I don't even know if I'm sure what college to apply to, I actually admit I don't. Nothing I want to chose makes sense to most other people but then, the foolishness of God doesn't make sense to most. That might be a bad example....
I was thinking I may want to major in English, maybe Creative Writing. Minor in Geography. Haha, what a weirdo.
Also, I was thinking about taking a gap year, do things I love and spend time in places and with people I love. Make some money. I'm getting tired of reporting to an authority that doesn't really care about me. I long for freedom that's really only been half-gained now that I'm out of the house.

Meh, ranting. I have been writing a lot anyway, and reading for that matter, it's been nice. I want to create art more than I think I ever have. Spring break hopefully I'll take the time to really be proactive.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is.

Hopefully it isn't big headed of me or insensitive to say I get used to it. I get used to new countries and I am no stranger to seeing people not as well off as I am. Haiti was a new experience for me, but new is something I know very well. Having been to so many countries and (three of them third-world countries) before coming to Haiti I wasn't phased by the lack of things and the amount of poverty. The most amazing part of it was how easy it is to get there, honestly.

Something I never want to get used to, and what I love most about my trip to Haiti was the hope of the Lord. Truly without the Lord there would be no motivation, I feel that's obvious. I see a hope in these people that I have not seen in the wealthy and I believe with all my heart these people are better off than I am. Jesus actually meant something when He said that it was harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom than for a camel to fit through the eye of the needle and He actually meant it when He said the poor shall inherit the earth. When we get to Heaven it will be so different from this earth because the worshipers who had nothing but the Lord and rejoiced shall be the ones running the show.
Going to church and singing with the believers and singing at camp I witnessed once again the truth that this world is nothing compared to the glory of the Lord. In Romans 8, Paul writes saying that "the sufferings of this present day are not worthy to be compared to the glory that shall be revealed in us." I have always thought this meant when we come in our glorified bodies. I actually still think that's what he meant. However, I believe that there is much glory being revealed by the Holy Spirit through us now. When we smile in the midst of calamity knowing God is in control, when we say "Even so, blessed be Your name." and when acknowledge the victory of Light over dark we reveal the glory of God. Who does this more than the afflicted church? Truly they are the greatest of us all. It's easy to lean back in a lawn chair with your Shiner held high and sigh "God is good." But I want you to know death, mud and the uncertainty of food tomorrow as well as the Haitians and tell me the same.

I was in Haiti for ten days, it was actually more like nine but that's technical. In that time I met a lot of people and a lot of young people who couldn't be in a better place for them spiritually. Jacob's Well is the most exciting place I have been and I've been everywhere, man. There is something happening there that I know the Lord has His hand in. Nothing can be more exciting than that.

Please keep the people of Limbé in your prayers and the missionaries that are there full time and the ones in and out. 

Separation: A reflection on a memory

October 18th 2011

It's that awful feeling deep in your stomach,

The pain at the sight of the beauty of morning,

The sun is rising, rushing the stars away and you are forced to let go.

To let go of all that is falling behind you,

On the highway being eaten up ahead of you by time,

Can't look back.

Goodbye.

The air is cold and fresh in your nose like the tears on your cheek,

The knowledge that it is over and no one else will mourn,

The history books will be ignorant and no archeologist will find this treasure.

Moving, dividing, separating.

If time and God heal all wounds, there's a reason Heaven lasts forever.

For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
1 Chronicles 16:34


Often I see thanks giving connected to God's lovingkindness or His goodness. Like in 1 Chronicles but again I see it five times in Psalm 107: "Let them give thanks to the Lord for His lovingkindness, And for His wonders to the sons of men!"
So seeing as it was just Thanksgiving I figured it was about time I start publicly giving thanks because "I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to You among the nations." -Psalm 57:9


I work well with lists sometimes.


Hot Water-
I'm thankful for this for many reasons.
 -First, not many people actually get water to endlessly pour over their heads, even fewer get to pick the sort of temperature they want it to be.
 -Second, back in Slovakia I could make breakfast while waiting for the water to heat up and sometimes I would wait through Christmas and New years before realizing that the heater was out of hot water. (Slight exaggeration may have been applied.) Suffice to say, I liked stepping into my hot shower this morning.


School
-As tiring and annoying as it can be, I'm so thankful for being at Blinn and being a lantern for the Lord on that campus.
-Education is fun.
-Professors are funny.


Winning Tickets to the final Lone Star Showdown
-Even if we did lose, it was awesome to be there and the fact that I won sweeps steaks to get there was crazy.
-Being able to take MaryGrace, my sister.


Food
-Sometimes less common than you may realize.
-Sometimes more delicious than you'd expect.
-Thanksgiving meal.


Music
-I feel like if all music stopped the world would simply just stop turning.
-$100 iTunes gift card from Apple. = well over 100 songs and 6 hours of music gained in one night.
-A close second to the Holy Spirit for connecting people.


A Car
-Even when it's totaled it gets me around. Here's to Harvey Dent!
-Complete coverage from State Farm. What a good neighbor.


The Word
-Even though I haven't been in it enough this semester at all, it's my passion and motivation.


Family
-Always loving, always forgiving. This is not a common happening and I praise God for that.


Friends
-I'm always surprised at my friends for how accepting and interested in me they are.
-Randomly going to Galveston with Nate to hanging out with the Veronies at the beach. I don't think any really realized how much good that did my soul. I loved it.


The Rain
-I woke up this morning to the sound of the rain. After this summer of praying for rain and still now for the sake of camp next summer, it was a great song of praise on my rooftop.


The Coming of Our Lord in Glory
-What keeps me going.
-Come, Lord Jesus, Come.


Merlin
-Because a new episode is coming out today and that's way exciting!

Romans 15 and Haiti

Romans 15:19-20

"And so I have made it my aim to preach the gospel, not where Christ was named, 

lest I should build on another man’s foundation, but as it is written: 

      “ To whom He was not announced, they shall see;

      And those who have not heard shall understand.”

On January 3rd I am going to Haiti with a Hand full of friends to minister to the Haitian people through a kids' camp. I have never been to Haiti before and know a very small something about it. I do know the heart of God though and I look forward to this trip with much seriousness, expectation and joy. This is a moment for God to shine and my hope is simply to be a lantern of the Light and be a tool of glory for my Lord Jesus Christ's name sake.
We're going into a culture that wasn't raised on Veggie Tales, "In God We Trust" or in towns with multiple churches on the same street. We're not going into a world we can relate to. We're going into a world where the name of the creator of the world, the name of Jesus has no previous connotations. This has been a calling to me, if not of the Lord of my own heart. I desire so much to share the Truth of Jesus Christ with those who have never known how much they need Him. There is nothing more than this.

Father Abraham

Reading through Romans always brings something to me. I never know what it's going to be but it's going to happen. This time it happened in chapter four. Paul writes about Abraham and it is always sort of my zone out point. You know if I wanted to hear about Abraham I'd go to Genesis! But there is a reason (as there always is) that God has him spoken of in Romans. I'm not saying I know it but this is what I see: Abraham had faith. This we all know because that's what Paul writes about. He's comparing the faith of Abraham to the faith of the modern Christian. They are the same, despite thousands of years of change, faith in the unchanging God hasn't changed.
What stuck me this read through was verse 21. I don't think you should really extract any sections of sentences from texts and the fact that we do that with the Bible more than anything is frightening but I won't make you read the whole text. "...and being fully convinced that what [God] had promised He was also able to perform."
How often are we truly, honestly and practically convinced that God would do what He promised? How often do we take His Word for it? How often do we hear what He has to say and then act on it, knowing He'll follow through?


"I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Amen.”


"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"


“And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.”


And then when He calls on us to do hard things, things we honestly just don't have the will to do, will you do it? If we fear, will we forget what Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah knew? Will we forget what all the disciples were convinced of? Stephen, Paul, Jan Hus, Nate Saint and all the men of faith that were convinced of the Truth of the Word of God.

Michael the Turtle

Now I don't know how common it is but in my circles of friends I have found myself in interesting discussions. Sitting around, hanging out and talking about if we were animals, what animals would we be?  I enjoy this game, I almost enjoy it as much as the "what element-benders would we be?" but that's for another day.
Often I am compared to a bird, some sort of bird but oddly enough, I am consistently a turtle. I have a few friends, friends who don't know each other, who have said that I'm a turtle. Never really knew how to take that. I mean turtles are cool, don't get me wrong, but birds just seemed a little more generally attractive. But today, I was in class discussing culture and turtles came up. (Really you should take this class, we talk about everything. This was just a little before power rangers came up.) My professor talked about how turtles were see in the eastern world as wise, self-efficient beings. They may be slow but they are tough and–what I thought was coolest– they carry their homes with them. That became quite interesting to me, knowing me and how those few people saw turtle in me.
Last night my friend was telling me about how she was looking forward to sleeping in her own bed tonight because she was going home. I didn't say anything really but my thoughts went to the fact that I don't have my own bed anymore, just the one I bought when I moved to college. I don't really mind all that much, it just came back to being a turtle. I guess I am a turtle. When I'm in Texas I'm a European, when I'm in Slovakia I'm a Texan, I carry the only home I know with me and that's the Kingdom of God.